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When paralympic swimmer Ellie Simmonds retired from swimming in 2021, she set out on a new adventure: Finding her birth mother. The British athlete has inspired many people living with disabilities, but now she can stand as an inspiration in the adoption community, as well. Her story has been shared in an ITV documentary titled “Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family.”
Ellie Simmonds was in her late twenties when she began the search for her birth mother. Despite the name of her documentary, the adoption was never a secret. She had known her entire life that she was adopted. As one of five adopted children in her family, adoption had always been a part of the family conversation. Whether you are considering making an adoption plan for your child or wish to grow your family through adoption, you may be inspired by the Ellie Simmonds adoption story.
Growing Up Adopted
Ellie Simmonds was born in 1994 with achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism. She was placed with a foster family as an infant and was soon adopted by a nice couple from Aldridge, England. Ellie took an interest in swimming at an early age. When she was 11, Ellie and her mother moved to another town so that she could train with a swimming team, returning home to spend the weekends together as a family.
“My parents supported me, not just the swimming, but all the opportunities,” she recalled. “I didn’t like sitting around; I liked to be doing something all the time, and my parents helped me be that person. I loved summer, because it meant that I could stay out longer. We were very active, outdoorsy.”
Ellie was not alone in her experience as a person with a disability in her family. Many of her siblings have disabilities.
“We’re a family of embracing differences,” she explained. “My parents brought us up in a very positive manner, very accepting of who we are and the positives of it. We’re very close.”
Growing up, Ellie said she never felt rejection because of her adoption.
“There were no moments that I was upset or angry. I’d been very, in a way, blase about it. Intrigued, but that’s me in general. I always like to ask loads of questions.”
This is the perfect lesson for adoptive parents, who can plan to have open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations with their children over the years about adoption. Adoptive families can teach their child(ren) that adoption is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by; but the unique and special story of how a family comes together.
Deciding to Begin the Search
While she had wonderful adoptive parents and siblings who all shared a happy home, Ellie found herself longing to learn more about her roots.
“You have all these questions about yourself that you’ve had for years and years and are finding out answers,” she explained in the documentary.
Once she officially retired from swimming, after the Tokyo 2020 Paralympics, she decided to take the leap.
“I thought, ‘This is the right time. Who am I? I’ve got all these questions,’” she recalled.
Uncovering the Past
The search for Ellie’s birth mother was an emotional experience.
“It was hard, [I’m] not going to lie,” she said. “I’ve definitely found out more about myself than I probably would have thought.”
Ellie knew she had been born in Glossop, Derbyshire, but she did not know much else about her adoption story. She was able to find her adoption records at Derbyshire County Council.
While filming the documentary, Ellie learned how children with her condition were viewed in the 1990s. In a particularly emotional scene, she comes to understand why her mother chose adoption. As a newly single mother, Ellie’s mother was handed an old leaflet about achondroplasia. The leaflet described those with dwarfism as suffering with “evil and stupidity” and that they “traditionally had been involved in the circus.”
While these statements were shocking, they inspired Ellie to act.
“It made me want to change people, help educate people that actually, being a disabled person is amazing,” she explained. “I think when I looked at it, I wasn’t angry. I was just like: ‘Gosh, this is really, really bad.’”
Ellie acknowledged that there has been progress since the ‘90s, but there is still work to be done.
“It’s got a lot better with disability but in 2024 children in the care system are still seen as harder to place,” she explained. “We still need more education, to have more open conversations about disability, so hopefully more children are not stuck in the system, that they are adopted to loving families. They deserve love as much as any other child.”
Despite the heartbreaking reason her birth mother chose adoption, Ellie holds empathy.
“I put myself in her shoes,” explained Ellie. “From the records, she was going through a lot mentally – I know more now – and she was on her own.”
The Reunion With Her Birth Mother
Ellie had an emotional reunion with her birth mother. While it was not captured on film for “Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family,” due to privacy concerns of her birth mother, Ellie got the moment for which she had been longing. She also learned that her birth mother had figured out who Ellie was a decade earlier and had been following her career.
“In a way, I felt like she was protecting me, because she could have easily come and seen me compete at any point. But she didn’t because she wanted me to get on with my life. She let me get in contact with her.”
While their reunion was scheduled to last 15 minutes, the two ended up chatting for five hours.
Lessons Learned
This story of Ellie Simmonds can serve as a lesson for those considering adoption for their child. It is never too late to make an adoption plan. If you have been adopted, or you adopted a child and experienced a closed adoption, you can also plan a search and reunion. It is never too late to make connections that will have a lasting impact.
Ellie Simmonds clearly had a unique adoption experience, but every adoption is unique. Thanks to her loving, supportive family, Ellie has enjoyed a fulfilling and happy life for which she is grateful.
“Hugely – love, family, support throughout.” In an interview with The Guardian, Ellie explained that the strange part was: “Looking back, I could have had another life. I could have been someone so different, someone else. If I didn’t have my parents, I wouldn’t be the swimmer or the person that I am today. They gave me that opportunity and they put me on that journey.”
Learn More About Adoption
If you would like to learn more about search and reunions, or adoption in general, contact Adoptions With Love today. We can help you lovingly make an adoption plan or adopt a child. Call 800-722-7731 or contact us online.